Update

It’s been a while since I started this blog and a lot has happened. I’ve been frustrated by the job market and living in my parents’ home has been challenging. It’s not like they don’t know I’m gay, but knowing and knowing are two different things – if you get what I’m saying. I’m starting to feel like I did when I was 16 and that was not a good time for anyone. And going back to that time in my life is not what I expected.

My other big frustration is my relationship. My boyfriend, let’s call him Kay, is sexy, smart, funny and so full of life. He’s also younger than me. I’ve never been the older guy in any relationship and that puts so much pressure on me. I guess I just don’t know how to deal with that. He’s also still questioning his sexuality, and hasn’t fully accepted who he is. When we started dating almost 6 months ago, he said he was gay, although he’d been with a lot of women… but then so had I. Now he’s saying that he’s bisexual. I’ve never wanted to date someone who was bisexual or still questioning. I think I’m a supportive partner and I always want the best for my partners. I want Kay to be happy and if that means that I have to watch him enter into a relationship with a woman then that’s what I’ll do. I love him dearly and the thought of him with someone else is breaking my heart, but it’s something I’m willing to do. I sound like a glutton for punishment. But then again, why should anyone care…