Of parties and exes

The past two weekends have been filled with almost non-stop revelry for me and my posse. It’s been a fun blur of drink, dance and… the dreaded ex! Because Harare’s gay community is really small, you are inevitably going to bump into that ex you may not be completely over. Cue the awkward conversations. The surreptitious glances. The jealous evil-eye at his next conquest. And of course the excessive drinking so that you appear cool and unaffected by his presence. Never mind the fact that he’s probably going through the same emotions. But in that moment all you can think about is yourself. You feel stupid for still having feelings for him but unable to stop caring for him and seeking him out. You secretly hope that you’ll ‘bump’ into each other in a quiet corner, the romantic orchestra will burst into a triumphant love song and you’ll run into each other’s arms and fall into long passionate embrace (all transgressions forgiven and forgotten). But, alas. Life isn’t a Hollywood melodrama. Life is opening yourself to love in the full knowledge that the love can quickly turn into pain and heartache. You can’t truly love someone until you accept that. This love, this relationship is for right now and any promises of forever are liable to be broken.

The A-gays!

HIFA – the Harare International Festival of the Arts – has come and gone. It was a six-day feast and celebration of the artistic spirits of Zimbabweans. It is also, perhaps, the largest single gathering of the gays in Zimbabwe. It’s the one week when you are sure to bump into the widest cross section of Zimbabwe’s gays. I was lucky to rub shoulders with the A-gays (a term I borrow from the wildly funny yet unrealistic US version of Queer As Folk – where were the poor or Black or Hispanic gays?). Who are the A-gays? That group of gays who are wickedly wealthy and seem to run the town. They are always seen in the right places with the right people wearing the right clothing. I may not have qualified yet to be one, but I’m well on my way. In fact, my bf and I have been taken under the wing of one of the A-gays; we playfully refer to him as our Don or Fairy God-Father! I’m looking forward to seeing where this relationship is going to take us…