Nostalgia is such a dangerous feeling to have. It creeps up on you and all of a sudden the past is roses and rainbows and unicorns. You start going back and looking at old picture galleries. Sadness and fear take over for a brief moment; sadness because the past is gone and fear that the future will never be as good as the past. The festive season is the worst for some strange reason. I think it’s the heady combination of celebration, family and alcohol. They bring out the best and worst in all of us. Today has been one of those hard days for me. I found myself in the nostalgia trap as I was finalising my plans for the festive season.
What’s got me looking back? It has been juts over a year since the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with sent me the text messages that ended our nearly decade-long relationship. It hasn’t been easy for me to get over the hurt and betrayal I felt. A year later and I still find myself curled on my bed in sadness. Time and distance have made things easier, but every time nostalgia creeps in things get difficult.
But it’s not a bad place to be. As long as you can see through the rainbows and unicorns and see the past for all that it was. There’s a strength that comes from acknowledging that good times were had but you can’t forgot the bad as well. That’s the problem with nostalgia, you forget the bad and dwell on the good. In doing that you can sucked in and fall in to a sadness. Every day is a struggle and as they say, time makes it easier. That’s the hope that I will have to hold on to.